How Sanctuary Helps Us Reconnect
As many of you know, I’m always seeking new ideas and insights that might deepen my understanding of sanctuary and how when we have peace around us, it inspires peace inside us. I’ve often said that sanctuary is more than just a design philosophy—it’s a way of living, of being. It touches every aspect of our lives when we really understand it.
I get goosebumps when I read that.
Lately, my search for understanding has led me somewhere unexpected: a course at Harvard Medical School titled Building a Life of Wellness: The Science of Fostering Happiness and Health Span. The material has been fascinating, covering everything from how happiness impacts physical health to the science behind practices proven to improve our overall well-being.
One topic that struck a deep chord with me was loneliness and the profound impact it has on our health. I learned that chronic, unresolved loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That fact stopped me in my tracks.
WHOA.
We learned about what researchers are now calling the "loneliness epidemic." And it’s not hard to see how we got here. The effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, isolationist habits, and an over-reliance on technology has created distance between us. What truly surprised me though, was the data showing that the loneliest group in our population is not the elderly, but young people between the ages of 16 and 24.
These conversations made me pause and reflect: What do I do to guard against loneliness in my own life?
For me, the answer is sanctuary.
One practice that has become especially meaningful to me is inspired by Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest and renewal that begins on Fridays at sunset. (Thank you for the inspiration and guidance, Nancy!) While I don’t observe it in the traditional way, I’ve embraced its essence. Most Friday evenings, I welcome friends or family into my home for a shared meal. I light candles throughout the house, letting that warm, soft glow fill the space. It’s something I’ve written about before as a sanctuary ritual—but in light of this course, I see it in a new way: as a practice in preparing myself to connect with loved ones as I welcome them into my home.
Creating a home that feels sacred to me, a space filled with objects and textures and warmth that speak to who I am, has made me feel comfortable inviting others in. Sanctuary at home has allowed me to open my doors and my heart more easily. And in doing so, it has strengthened my relationships. Gathering with loved ones at the end of a long week has become a ritual of connection. It’s not elaborate or formal, but rather simple and authentic. And that, I think, is the point.
Another sanctuary practice I’ve written about before, one that feels more essential than ever in the face of loneliness: gratitude.
At its core, gratitude is about connection: taking a moment to be present, to ground yourself, and to recognize the people and values that give your life meaning. When we’re truly mindful and thankful for someone, it often moves us to reach out, to reconnect, to say something as simple and heartfelt as “Let’s catch up” or “Come for dinner.”
As I continue to learn, grow, and explore, I see more clearly how sanctuary has applications far beyond the walls of our homes. It offers tools for living more deeply connected lives. And in a world where so many people feel isolated, sanctuary feels like a gift worth sharing.
I’d love to hear from you: Have you experienced a moment where gratitude, thoughtfulness, or a sense of sanctuary helped you reconnect with someone important in your life? Share in the comments- I always love reading your reflections.
And I’ll keep you posted on the other things I learn in my class. Fascinating stuff and so applicable to where we are right now.
With love and gratitude,
Lisa